My Borderline

I put a lot of my mental illness into tangible form very often. I refer to "my borderline" whenever I refer to my mental illness. The jury's out as to whether this is a healthy or unhealthy thing. For example, I'll often say, "My borderline doesn't like change," which means that change really upsets my personality disorder. I truly identify with being a borderline. Perhaps because I don't have an identity outside of it. Or perhaps because that's one of the characteristics of a borderline: lack of identity. 

It's not that I want to identify with being ill. And I think we are ill. It's all a matter of managing this illness. But I feel that I've found a community of other borderlines and so, at least online, I'm quite comfortable identifying as a borderline. I'm not alone, like I was in the past. Ten years ago, when I was diagnosed, I felt quite alone. 

My family did not appreciate their daughter/sister being determined mentally ill. They still don't really accept it. Hell, I didn't want to be labeled mentally ill either, at the time. I rebelled against it for a good year before I came to terms with it. It was like killing the "healthy" facade I had of myself, even though I was no where near healthy. After some time and lots of reading, I came to understand borderline personality disorder and eventually accept it as my diagnosis. It was only then that healing could really take place. 

So now I own my borderline. I have control of it, at least for now. But I feel that control slipping. And that thought makes me nervous. 

How do you refer to your mental illness? Is it "your bi polar" or "your borderline"? Or is it something completely different? Or none of the above?